This week is Mental Health Week and it’s a subject close to my heart because I have suffered depression and anxiety since I was about 16 years old. I have it all under control now (well – mostly), but in the beginning I had no idea what was going on. Why was I crying uncontrollably? Why did I feel a massive weight on my body and not want to move from my bed for hours? Why couldn’t I breathe? Why is my heart racing so fast? Through seeing a great psychologist and taking her advice to start running and having a supportive, loving partner, not to mention learning to control my breath, I have got it under control and I can act on it when I start to feel the black dog of depression circling me.
Beyond Blue says that “anxiety is the most common mental health condition in Australia. On average, one in four people – one in three women and one in five men – will experience anxiety at some state of their life”. If you’re not sure of the difference between depression and anxiety, this Beyond Blue ad starring Ben Mendelsohn helps to describe it.
“I’m the ill ease that you feel when you walk into a crowded room. You know, I’m the hot and cold flushes that confuse you when you’re already confused enough. I am the one that raises the whip to your already racing heat. I am the tightening of your chest, the snowballing worries that feel like they might become an avalanche and just bury you in an instant. I am the obsessive, and I’m the compulsive. I’m the voice, you know the one, it’s always questioning, questioning, questioning. And I am every single staring eye that watches you”.
Depression, as defined by Beyond Blue, “affects how people feel about themselves. They may lose interest in work, hobbies and doing things they normally enjoy. They may lack energy, have difficulty sleeping or sleep more than usual. Some people feel irritable and some find it hard to concentrate. Depression makes life more difficult to manage from day to day.
Running a small business is hard. I think we can all acknowledge that it is not the easiest road to travel. Whilst it can give you the highest highs, it can also bring on the lowest lows. And if you are predisposed to depression and anxiety it can really give you a run for your money.
Given that it is Mental Health Week (4-11 October), I thought it perfect timing to share some tips that have worked for me over the years to ensure you take care of yourself and become a statistic.
Get regular exercise
My Psychologist told me I needed to start running and I remember thinking “what is she talking about? I’m losing my mind and she wants me to RUN?!”. But I tried it and I stuck with it and it really helped. Over the years, I’ve replaced running with long walks and yoga and these tend to work just as effectively for me now. Whatever you choose, find an exercise that you enjoy and make time to do it regularly.
Speak to yourself the way you would speak to a friend – be kind
The negative self-talk that goes on in our heads is powerful and can destroy your self-confidence. Some people don’t realise that we actually have power over our own thoughts. When you notice your negative self-talk, make an effort to force your thoughts back to the positive. Keep in mind the quote “Watch your thoughts. They become words. Watch your words. They become deeds. Watch your deeds. They become habits. Watch your habits. They become character. Character is everything.”
Limit your alcohol or caffeine intake when you feel yourself losing control
Alcohol is a depressant and caffeine increases your heart rate. Whenever I was going through an “episode” i just thought life was terrible. It didn’t occur to me that my mood was in anyway linked to the bender I had had the night before, or the three cans of V that I’d had before lunch. When I learnt of the connection between what I put in my body and the physical reaction to it, it was a lightbulb moment. Ever since, I will monitor what I’m drinking when I can feel that I’m anxious or sliding into depression.
Surround yourself with positive people – rid yourself of the toxic relationships (friends & family)
We all have them and well know them. Some of them are relatives and some of them are our friends. However they’re connected to you, limit your time with toxic people and most importantly – don’t feel bad about it!
Be grateful – everyday look for things to be grateful for
Keeping a gratitude diary (whether a photographic one or a list) is a fantastic way to concentrate on the positive aspects of your life. I participated in the #365gratitude photo challenge in 2014 and it was such a positive influence on my outlook. Practising gratitude has been proven to increase our health and happiness
Replace the words “have to” with the words “get to”
Too often I used to find myself complaining about things I had to do. Urgh. I “have to” do the grocery shopping or I “have to” get up to the baby during the night. I read an article when my daughter was two where it encouraged us to replace the words “have” with “get to” and it instantly changes the perspective of what you’re complaining about. Suddenly it became I “get to” do the grocery shopping and I “get to” get up to the baby during the night. It totally changes it, don’t you think? I’ve been doing it ever since and I think it works wonders to pull you back to reality.
Question whether your reaction is in proportion to what’s happening
This is one I learnt when I was going through cognitive therapy. Is your reaction in proportion to what is happening? Oftentimes we catastrophise situations and make things a lot bigger than what it is. Stop for a minute. Look at what’s happening and your reaction. If it’s out of proportion, take a deep breath and deal with the facts.
Learn to control your breath – when you own your breath, nobody can steal your peace
This was a skill my psychologist tried to teach me and for the life of me, I could not master it when I was seeing her. I don’t know why – I just couldn’t slow my breath down enough. But that’s all changed since I started yoga and I learnt about ujayi breathing. If you’re struggling to slow your breathing down, you need to watch this tutorial and practise. It’s just fantastic. And it’s so true. Once you control your breath, nothing seems so bad. Usually it’s my racing heart that will kick-start me into anxiety. But what started the racing heart? Sometimes it’s caffeine. Sometimes it’s a comment or interaction I’ve taken the wrong way. Whatever it is, my heart is racing and I’m sliding into an episode of anxiety. But all it takes is for me to start slowing my breath down and after a minute or two, everything is better and I can think clearly again.
And that’s it! Those are the top things I do to maintain my mental health and I swear by them. Can you add any? I wish all of you happiness and love not just for Mental Health Week but for every week of the year.
Please note: if you feel that you’re suffering from depression or anxiety and don’t know what to do – visit Beyond Blue and seek immediate help.
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